If you feel jittery, tongue-tied and sweaty and nauseating in a situation where you face an audience of at least 20 or so people, you are not the only one who feels so. Ok, let’s face it. Speaking in front of many people on the stage needs quite some guts, which, incidentally I do not possess. Now, that apparently seems quite absurd to my friends who think that I’m the great great grand-daughter of Einstein and that I have brains genetically modified to perform extra-ordinary feats from the time of my birth and it’s very silly for me to think that I cannot talk on stage. Oooh! The thought is so nauseating.
Balancing yourself between the reality and illusion, truth triumphs and illusion fails miserably. The truth is - nightmares cannot be easily forgotten. And I had this particular incident where I kept standing like the statue of Buddha in Hussain Sagar, staring blankly at an audience when I was supposed to talk on ‘Reforming the present educational system’. I knew all the facts, the pros and cons and excellent suggestions to throw away to the intellectuals sitting on the other side of the stage, eagerly waiting for me to speak. I admired their spirit of endurance and at least for their sake, wanted to speak but, alas! Nothing came out of my mouth except a faint, gurgling sound. After much of the anticipation, I opened my mouth and spoke exactly nineteen words which included ‘education system needs to be reformed. The government needs to take effective steps to mend the paralyzed education system.’ After a long pause of wasted time, I uttered a faint ‘thank you’ but actually meant it for the judges who were as patient as the yogic saints of Himalayas. I wondered whether they were into Yoga or meditation.

But, as mentioned earlier, some nightmares were etched but some weren’t that bad and the expected nightmare turned into a beautiful experience. My parents stressed on ‘effective communication skills’ and unfortunately, effective public speaking skills were one of them. I tried to argue, “But my writing skills are not bad, Dad…” but in vain. It was as though I was fighting a lost battle. The next time was a competition to judge the best speakers in my college. Gosh! Don’t they have a much subtle competitions like essay writing or anthakshari or something like that? And my friends insisted that I participate in the competition. I envisaged the faces of those wretched mortals who would be ‘fortunately gifted’ with the same spirit of patience to listen to my ramblings. But then, a though flashed my mind ‘why can’t I do it? Why can’t I talk on the stage?’ And then I decided that I would take on as a challenge and get on with the talking. I had prepared for the topic pretty hard as always and I decided to give a shot but this time, a positive one. I remembered the punch line of a soft-drink ad, “Beyond fear lies success”. Wow! I felt motivated at the thought and mentally thanked the advertising manager who ‘created’ that wonderful line! I spoke everything in an orderly fashion and tried hard not to feel nervous. I felt content and happy at the end because I tried hard to feel calm and free and succeeded in it. Though I did not win any prize, I won something which I didn’t have last time, I won back my confidence, the confidence to achieve what I want, the confidence to face a bigger audience next time. And I advice all my friends who are riding in the same boat, give in your best and leave the rest. And remember that ‘Rome was not built in a day’ and ‘Practise makes a (wo)man perfect.’

Whenever you go to give a speech or a presentation, these tips may help you:-
Do not feel that you are being judged. This is one of the psychological notions that many of us feel. If you know that you are being judged, you might get under stress to perform much better which may result in tension and nervousness.
Do not go without being prepared. Unless you are perfectly thorough with what you are going to speak, you cannot perform confidently.
Take deep breath twice or thrice before you speak. This will bring down the nervousness.
Look confident, use hands while talking. That way, it would build up your confidence.
Finally, give in your best and leave the rest.

We hear so many stories about the disparities in terms of caste, creed and economic status in our society. At this juncture, I would like to share one of my favourite stories which i had read when i was a kid. This story had deeply influenced me about the religious values that one should inculcate and emulate. Also, this story had been written by a boy of around 11 years of age which adds to the beauty of the story. I penned down all that I could remember about the story. Hope I did justice to the real script.

I wonder why grandma didn’t scold me for it, as I expected myself to be skinned alive by her. But no, and moreover she gave a smile which wasn’t a smirk! Did the sun rise in the west? Then how come my grandma didn’t scold me for the fiasco I created? Now it definitely has to be the eight wonder of the world!
Well, my granny’s interest lies in religious and spiritual discussions and she considers today’s movies as “a piece of filth” and today’s super-hit songs as “mixture of meaningless and vulgar words” which I totally disagree and end up having a heated “verbal war” with her; but she ends up winning the battle always. And mom always supports her and tries to divert me from that discussion which she eventually fails; I become a lone warrior. Also one of my interests lies in irritating my granny, which sometimes ends up in me getting a couple of spanks.
One Sunday when I was sleeping indolently in the morning, my granny woke me up as if tsunami had come. I rubbed my eyes and mumbled, “ good morning grandma, what happened? Why did you wake me up? Don’t you know today’s Sunday? Let me sleep”. Saying this I covered myself completely with the blanket. Granny got angry and pulled the blanket from my face and gave a slap. She said, “Get up stupid; we are going to the Krishna temple today, it is an auspicious day today. Get up lazybones and get ready in another half hour. We have to catch an early bus and go to Harihar.” Did she say Harihar? Wow! Delicious sweets offered in the temple! I sprinted like a deer and got ready. We caught an early bus to Harihar and reached there.
We had the darshan of lord Krishna and my granny gave me a coin to drop in the box kept in front of the shrine. I looked at the coin and then at granny. I thought, “What will I get if I drop this precious coin in the box?” Thinking this, I pretended to drop the coin in it and carefully slipped it in my pocket. We then went to Hanuman temple and offered prayers. Granny went inside the shrine to offer fruits and money while I strolled around the temple. Just then I saw a candy shop and bought some candy with the coin. “ Where did u get that candy from?” granny bellowed. Before I could even utter a word she put two-and-two together and shouted, “So the coin which I gave you to put in that box, you bought a candy with it? Shame on you, you disgusting boy!” and she gave a slap in front of all the people. Me, standing there, with reddened face, would have done nothing more than just run away from there. Well, so much for my delicious sweets!
It was Christmas holidays and I was sleeping peacefully on a cold morning when my granny woke me up and ordered to get ready and come with her to vinayak temple. I wondered, “well, at least I could go with her for courtesy sake”, and I got ready. When we reached the temple, many of the beggars started surrounding us. One of them shouted, “amma, please give a coin, help this poor needy, earn the good blessings from the mighty lord.” I felt pity and said, “grandma, please give a coin to that poor guy”. Suddenly granny took out her kerchief, covered her nose and said, “let’s get away from here. Goodness knows what diseases they might be carrying with them.” I didn’t pursue the matter further and walked away with her but the moaning of that beggar was ringing in my ears, I don’t know why…
After the prayer we came and I saw that the beggar was sleeping on the ground and all the other beggars were ululating, saying, “help this poor creature, please give alms to the needy, earn the blessings of lord…” granny took out a coin and was going to fling the coin when I stopped her. “Grandma, what are you doing?” I asked. Granny gave a smile and said, “ Oh ok. You take it and give it to those beggars. You would be blessed by lord vinayaka.” “Blessings?”, I asked granny, “when the poor man needed money and begged you, you went away and now you are flinging a coin on his dead body? Does real devotion towards the god means offering fruits and money to a stone statue and refusing to the poor and needy that are in need of them? Shame on you granny!” I suddenly exploded in front of her. Uh oh! I’m dead! But surprisingly, granny gave me a kiss on my cheek and said, “you are right sweetie. Oh how futile were my prayers to the lord when I refused to help the poor people. Thank you for enlightening me dear!” and she kissed me on my cheek.

Call it ludicrous or frivolous but there is nothing as entertaining as a traveling experience in a city bus, especially if you are one of those who rush for their bus in the ‘prime time’, what with people from school kids to employees stand beside you, like angry tigers ready to pounce on their prey. Well, one ‘fine’ morning, I was waiting for the bus to get to my college. I had my computer practical that day and I couldn’t dare go late to the class because, well I don’t like the lecturers calling me “lackadaisical” which is one of their favourite words! Time was ticking by and each moment sounded like ‘death bells’ ringing in my ears. I was praying to all the three-crore or so devathas to grant me the immediate boon of a bus to my college. And Voila! As if the devathas immediate reaction to it, I see the green bus slithering on the road from a distance. Immediately me and the rest of the wretched mortals standing in the bus stop became as alert as a soldier on the PoK border. And the bus came to a halt, but only for half a second. And I was grateful to the almighty that my lucky stars were shining, if not very brightly. I caught the bus and to my utter dismay, it was already almost full. Now I understood the pain and urgency behind the public service messages of the government bodies to control population. But, as I mentioned earlier, my lucky stars were shining, if not brightly so I managed to find myself a corner to stand. Wow! Can anybody be luckier than me?!

Unfortunately, my mercury levels were rising rather quickly because I was sandwiched between everyone and almost felt like a sardine in a tin. To top it, the driver was so much in love with the bus that he was driving it very ‘carefully’; so carefully that even a cycle-peddler would cross the bus, even if he’s walking with it. But I quickly composed myself to face the worst. Later, a huge woman with raised eyebrows (or was it shaped?) entered the bus and looked for a seat. Suddenly, as though she spotted a treasure chest, her eyes gleamed. She pushed herself inside the bus and stood near a seat where two men were having a chat nonchalantly, discussing everything, from hairpins to airplanes, from neighbours politics to national politics. She asked them to get up from their seat because they were sitting in a women-reserved seat. They seemed unperturbed by her sudden outburst. And as though the female chauvinist had sudden conquered the soul of the mammoth to triumph the male bastions, she yelled at the bus conductor for their indiscipline action. So the poor guy couldn’t help but assist her. Finally, the male bastions had to give up and her face glowed as though she conquered Mount Kilimanjaro. Meanwhile, I came in to take advantage of the situation and sat beside her, smiling to myself. Suddenly, the driver screeched the bus to a halt and I saw that a small dog had come in front of the bus. A lanky guy with a loose dog string dangling in his hands came inside the bus and started yelling at the driver for his “irresponsible behaviour and rash driving” and coaxed the traffic police to pay him the compensation. While I was almost enjoying the little entertainment going on, I was equally worried about my class, so I decided to get down and catch another bus. But, as I mentioned, my lucky stars were shining a little too much and so to my relief, the driver quickly apologized the lanky fellow and resumed his job. I felt a rush of sympathy towards the driver and for a moment, virtually stepped into his shoes. Poor fella! How much he has to face everyday, from driving a practically dilapidated bus to bearing the curses of the traffic police to the rumblings of the passengers, with occasional adrenaline eruptions from his employer. And with the increased rule breaking of the two-wheelers and the very popular enemies, the ‘three-wheelers ’i.e. the auto-rickshaws has increased the arduousness of the job. And the conductor? His job’s no less than a Herculean task of giving tickets to everyon, moving around in the packed buses, almost drenching themselves in their sweat. Pondering over their poignant and humdrum jobs, I asked the driver, who seemed to be upset by the commotion of the dog owner, “How do you manage all these everyday? I would have burst out at him.” He smiled at me and said, “It’s always the same, ma. We are used to it.” I said angrily, “But it was no fault of yours. It was his dog and he couldn’t control it properly.” He smiled and shrugged, as if to say, ‘Life’s like that.’ I couldn’t but appreciate the driver’s incessant sense of positive attitude and the fire of motivation which kept burning in his heart, despite numerous troubles faced by him everyday. And I felt as if a spark of it flew and ignited in my heart too.

hello everyone. i'm priyanka, a new member to blogger and a novice to the huge world of blogging. i love reading, writing, travelling and photography.

Smile of good for health (Conditions apply)

It may sound rather uncanny but I have to tell u, smile is injurious to health. Give a damn about “It takes 72 muscles to frown and 14 to smile” when there are chances of your muscles thrown away by a mammoth. Well I had the experience of this rather deleterious smile when last week, in our psychology class, we were taught about the ‘good habit’ of smiling and I was listening with rapt attention, literally drinking the words. “There”, I decided, “I will see to it that I make the world happy with my smile”. After the class, I went loitering around the canteen for some refreshments and suddenly I saw my lecturer storming inside the classroom, sparks flying in her eyes. I ran from the canteen, conveniently forgetting about the piece of half samosa in my hand. She looked at me and the samosa as if I had done a sin of showing a porn movie to a five-year old. I smiled apologetically and stuffed the samosa into my mouth. There, I have used the weapon. The magic weapon. But alas! The magic weapon landed me into an “outstanding” student for the rest of the hour. Now, the accursed smile costed me my class. Was there no trick that the mentos ad guy had made to re-enter the class if he committed the crime of smiling???

Well, after that untimely incident, I still stuck to the fact that mistakes do happen and that we need to forget about them. And the secret weapon costed me a lot more than just being an outstanding student. That evening, while I was waiting in the bus stop for my accursed bus, which, I reckon, had almost seemed like the driver had gone for a matinee show of the latest rajnikanth’s movie. And suddenly, I spotted a guy staring at me. I thought that the poor guy has bad eyesight, judging from the horn-rimmed glasses he wore which were as thick as elephant skin. And a wave of sympathy augmented in my heart, as if saying, “Aww! Poor fellow! How sad it must be to put on those glasses and stand in front of the girls’ college”. And I gave a sheepish grin. Just then my bus arrived and boy! I ran like PT Usha along with the rest of the girls standing there. Had I twisted my head to turn back, I would have known that the bespectacled nerd had got inside the bus with me. Suddenly, one of my friends pointed out, “hey isn’t that the guy who was seen at the bus stop?” I was rather reluctant to look coz, well; he wasn’t a Hritik Roshan or Abhishek Bachchan to be looked at and drooled over. Nevertheless, I looked through the corner of my eyes and found him the bus. I slapped my forehead, thinking about the “weapon” I used and I almost felt like kicking myself. And then I thought of using my vituperated word power to the fullest to give him ‘black and blue’ but my cognitive sensibility got better of me. Suddenly a brainstorming idea flashed in my mind. It was the old typical bollywood-ish idea of making-the-guy-lose-himself-in-a supermarket. Thank you bollywood! And after the successful attempts of achieving the impossible, I finally reached home and breathed a sigh of relief. And then, as though enlightened under a peepal tree (like Mr. Buddha), I learnt my lesson—Smile is good for health*
* Conditions apply!